


godforsaken

by uhhhplant



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, M/M, More tags to be added, Psychological Trauma, Trapped, Unhealthy Relationships, but he kinda sucks at it, im about to rewrite like half of this, just kinda sad all around, kaworu tries to help shinji
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 16:31:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19398010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uhhhplant/pseuds/uhhhplant
Summary: Kaworu and Shinji are locked in NERV for the unforeseeable future. Neither of them have any knowledge on how to get out, the power and water still work, but they have no way to contact the outside world, as NERV is on some kind of lockdown protocol. Shinji has been forced to deal with his inner thoughts as they’re what plague him with almost every waking hour. Kaworu attempts to comfort Shinji in every way he can. But with the pairs deteriorating sanity and composure will they only end up hurting each other?





	godforsaken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kaworu and shinji explore NERV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so disclaimer?? i've never actually posted or finished any fanfiction before but im committed to working on this!!! i really like it and its actually fun working on it. but please keep in mind that i'm not the most professional writer so there might be some grammar mistakes,, if you see any feel free to point them out <3
> 
> chapters are most likely to be short and straight to the point

“Kaworu…” Shinji trails off, his feet growing heavier with each step. 

“Kaworu? What are we going to do if no one finds us… Kaworu!” 

Shinji lets out a huff of breath when he gets no response, what did he expect. Kaworu hasn’t said a word since they got stuck in this godforsaken fortress. god… is there even a god? Shinji’s head begins to hurt after thinking about it. They’ve been walking in circles around NERV for hours it seems. Shinji’s headache gets even worse. 

The metal pipes and suspenders began to look like they were repeating ages ago. Making Shinji lose his grip on reality. The occasional hot puff of steam from pipes always caught him off guard. The sickly smell of blood coming from somewhere disgusted him. 

Shinji has to stop in his tracks to clutch his head, he begins to sway, losing his balance. Kaworu rushes back to stabilize him. Shinji feels as if his red eyes were staring into his soul, judging every imperfection. But, his gaze changes. It seems softer, almost bittersweet. Kaworu’s forehead scrunches in worry, he picks Shinji up into his arms and begins walking again. Shinji’s heartbeat increases. He can feel the prick of tears start to surface.

“Kaworu…” Shinji speaks up a little, but even his voice is starting to make his head spin. 

“Yes, Shinji?” Kaworu responds hesitantly. his voice sounded shaken, almost as if he thought one wrong word would shatter Shinji.

“I’m scared… Kaworu, I'm so scared” he lets out a choked sob. Shriveling up in Kaworu’s arms wrapping his arms around his chest. He hugged him tightly, letting his tears flow freely. Shinji’s mind and body were so exhausted he had to let down his walls and just cry, he felt safe in Kaworu’s arms. He finds himself lulled to sleep by Kaworu’s even breathing. 

═══════ ✦ ═══════

Shinji awakens with a fine sheen of sweat covering his body. He feels disgusting and immediately wants to take a shower. He sits up and notices Kaworu sitting on a chair on the other side of the room. Shinji feels a sudden chill… as if Kaworu was staring at him the entire time he was sleeping. On the topic of Kaworu, had he carried Shinji all the way to this bed? The thought of Kaworu carrying him and then setting him down gently, and tucking him in made Shinji blush. 

“Kaworu… have you been sitting there this whole time?”

Kaworu didn’t respond, Shinji sighed. Kaworu not talking made him feel even more uncomfortable. Kaworu always had something to say, and those words always made Shinji feel way better. This was not the case now. Kaworu leaned down to grab a bottle of water that was near his chair. He swept across the room and handed the bottle to Shinji. 

He accepted it hesitantly, unable to not stare into Kaworu’s eyes. They looked so mysterious and inviting, as if Shinji could fall into them and lose himself in a sea of red. He broke eye contact with Kaworu feeling even sicker. He opens the bottle Kaworu gave him and takes a long drink of it. 

Kaworu sits on the bed next to him, and Shinji immediately feels a bit better.

Shinji opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out, his throat extremely dry. He takes another long drink of water before trying to speak again.

“Kaworu?” he speaks up. 

Kaworu turns to face Shinji with a patient expression, Shinji feels a lot calmer.

“Did you find a way out?” he says hopefully.

Kaworu shakes his head, staring at the floor with almost a look of guilt adorning his features.

Dread.

“But we’ll find some way out, won't we...Shinji” Kaworu turns to him and smiles. 

Shinji feels as if his heart melted.

“Yeah… we will” Shinji’s body moves on its own accord as he crawls forward to embrace Kaworu. He accepts his hug, unphased. 

The two split with a small smile. But Shinji still feels unfulfilled, like a hug and a smile wasn’t enough. Like he wanted more from Kaworu. He’s gripped with need and he backs away from Kaworu. He swings his legs off the side of the bed scanning the room for anything that could hold his attention. He felt sick to his stomach.


End file.
